7 most challenging life experiences

I was asked this past week if I could identify the 7 most difficult days of my life (the person who asked me this is reading a Dr. Phil book that addresses this question). After thinking for a moment, I could only come up with 2. Since then, her question got me thinking, and so far, I have come up with 4. While I was thinking about the most challenging days/experiences, I naturally reflected on some of my best days as well. So here is my list of the most difficult  and greatest days of my life: (I could only think of 4 for each category)

Best Days/Experiences

1. The day I realized I was in love with Spencer. 

We had been hiking the Subway (a well known hike in our area) during the late spring. A lot of the hike is in water. Very, very, very COLD water. We got to a point where we had to swim quite a distance in the water, and I couldn't do it. I started freaking out. I couldn't play tough anymore. Spencer was so patient. He had already swam through, but came back to get me, and carry me on his shoulders while he swam. I don't know why that did it, but it did. I realized that day that I was in love with Spencer and that I was going to marry him.

2. The day I married Spencer

I loved our wedding day. If we didn't have pictures, I wouldn't remember who came to our wedding (sorry). I was so head over heals in love, and so excited to be with Spencer forever.

3. The day I found out I was pregnant with Ethan

I had had doubts as to weather or not I could even get pregnant, so when I read that pregnancy test, I was elated. I cried for an hour, and then I went to the doctor to get a blood test to make certain :)

4. The day Ethan was born

I don't know how to describe it, so I won't attempt to. I think all mothers know what it feels like to meet and hold the little person who has been growing inside you for the first time. 

Most difficult Days/Experiences

1. The day I was told my brother was gay.

I think I was 16 at the time. My dad told us that my brother was leaving the church, that he was getting a divorce, and that he was gay. I have never been so angry, so hurt and shocked.

2. The day I returned home from my mission early to get treatment for an eating disorder

That day, getting off the airplane was the most humiliating experience of my life. It was so hard to see my family. I was just sure they were all thinking I was disgusting and a failure, and that that they would want nothing to do with me. Of course none of that was true. they were all very, very kind, and supportive.

3. The day I found out my brother had taken his life.

Same brother who was gay. I was driving to WalMart when my dad called. In knew instantly something was wrong. When my dad told me, I was hysterical. I sat in the parking lot for quite some time trying to contain myself so I could drive home. Once I got home I sat on our sofa and cried so hard my body ached. I think this tops my list, as the very worst day/experience. 

4. The day I had a miscarriage.

I was 18 weeks when I went to the doctor and found out our little baby had no heartbeat. The actual day he told me, I was sad, but still in a bit of denial. I had not bled or cramped, so it was an unusual miscarriage. The following day I had a D&C procedure, and THAT was hard. That's when it became real. I remember crying to to Spencer before the surgery, "can the doctor check one more time just to make sure?". I think a miscarriage is one of those things that you don't realize how hard it is until you experience it. 

The challenging days I think more than not, were challenging experiences. None of them were painful for just one day. The eating disorder took a few years of counseling. Mending the relationship with my brother was a process,  and I still get sad every time I am reminded of him and his death. I think what was important for me to realize this past week was that yes, these were hard things to experience, but I got through it. It took a lot of prayer and a lot of faith, but in the end, our Heavenly Father watches over us, and we get through it.